WAW had an affair - hurt and confused

[Bdog37]

That is some brutal truth. However, you are not hearing this from your W and for me I needed that. I needed her to tell me the brutal truth so I can finally start to believe she is being honest with me. Not sure if you would want to hear these details from your W, but it is not uncommon. Many professionals agree that this is a big part in the healing process. My W never actually told me the entire truth until I heard it from a third party source. That pained me even more, but later she would confess all the details. It really didn't matter at that point, but she said she thought it would hurt me even more to hear them. It did hurt knowing that it happened more than she confessed to. I found out I was paying for hotel rooms, they had sex at her work, in the backseat of my car, on road trips while at work, behind buildings out in public and at one point she thought she was pregnant from him. I believe that is when it stopped. I would later discover an email from my W to her mother that basically said she was sick and tired of answering all my questions. Her mother ended up telling my W that I was crazy for wanting to know. However, I would later read so many articles that state this is actually normal and helps the person who was betrayed gains some sort of trust from their spouse. At first I thought I was crazy for wanting to know every little detail of her PA, but so many people who have been betrayed need to hear these things from their partner to help heal. Not sure if this would help you in your healing process, but if she is lying to all those people about you being physically abusive then most likely she will just lie to your face about her PA. IMO I think if she was genially sorry then a good place to start would be by honestly answering any questions you may have and telling you the "brutal truth" in regards to her PA. That is, of course, if you want to know these things.