Mach1,
You know... if she came to me and told me she had a boyfriend I'd be
Devastated. Because I see a lot of good still in her. She still talks about future plans that include me. It really doesn't seem like there's anyone else to me.
BUT I do realize I could be absolutely wrong and she could be lying about everything. I don't spy or snoop anymore so I have no idea what she could be doing.
So yeah,the fear is still there that she may be seeing someone else and if she came to me with that news I'd be heartbroken. But for the LBS who wishes for reconciliation that's life right? If I said it wouldn't bother me then I'd be totally emotionally detached from her...and that's just not the case for me. I can't control what she does, all I can do is control what I do. So I live out my days for me, my kids and working towards bettering myself and hope that one day she sees the light.
She hasn't said anything that's stung in a while. Only the typical MLC talk, but that was a while back. I do not talk with her about our relationship anymore. I don't ask questions, I don't bring it up, I listen to her talk and remain calm and cheerful.
No drama whatsoever.
Lately I've been seeing signs of depression in her. I think she gets it sometimes that she's hurting our family. My kids give her the cold shoulder ALOT because they feel neglected by her. They see her spending money we don't have, and they notice she spends a lot of time by herself in her room and they feel she only cares about herself right now. It's being noticed by my W that the kids don't appreciate it. I try to comfort my kids but they just keep getting hurt by her. She's torn by her need for time and space and keeping the kids content. She used to resent me somewhat because the kids have become closer to me but she realizes now it's her own fault.
I've talked about my reasons for believing she's in MLC in earlier posts. Go back and check it out if you like, it's a lot.
Thanks Mach for the questions and concern. Always enjoy replying to my fellow LBS bro's and sisters.
AK8