Living with a WW (3)

[LiM]

Hi Jug,

So sorry for the pain you are experiencing. I know how bad it is.
Most of the time, the advice around here is going to be "wait it out." The A, always ends. But that leaves you in limbo for what feels like an eternity. I wasn't willing to do it (and neither was TxHubby). I THOUGHT my W and I were working on our R while we were S. As soon as I found out that the A was continuing, I filed for D. I refused to live in limbo. And as imperfect as I am, I refused to be treated that way.
I do believe that had I not filed for D, I would not be where I am today: Piecing my M back together.
BUT, it was not a magic bullet. My W did NOT suddenly come out of the fog when I filed for D. In fact, she acted like she could care less. It was only after OM dumped her and my w was forced to meet face to face with OM's W that she started to come around. Even then, it was like pulling teeth. And now, 10 months into piecing, we STILL have our struggles and I imagine we will for some time. I know my W loves me and that she is remorseful but she has her demons to battle. This is a long, hard road.
Above all else, make sure you are taking care of yourself. Even if you are an expert DB'r, it still requires your W to do her part to make things work and there is no guarantee that she will. So take care of yourself so that you are a better person no matter what the outcome of you M.