First time here

[Sotto]

You're getting some good advice already, and I agree about exercise. It does help

For me, I get to the gym each week but I also do some more 'social' exercise - yoga and salsa classes. I also found swimming and walking helpful...whatever works for you. It's great, because it is something you can do for yourself.

I would encourage you to keep the focus on you, and on you moving forward and healing from this horrible shock. Almost 3 years out and I promise you this is the way to go - however things unfold WRT your H.

Also, his age makes him a possible candidate for mid life crisis and you may want to read around that subject a little to see if anything you read, rings true. I post on the MLC area of this forum. Sadly, my XH decided to stay with OW and he filed for D and saw that to conclusion. But I have to say, from my DBing efforts to save myself and try to save the marriage, I feel a lot of peace and contentment with my life in a way I wouldn't have though possible 2+ years ago.

But it isn't easy. I saw a friend the other day and she said she had been speaking to someone about how well I had 'bounced' back. I said to her, I don't think bounce is the right word to use. It suggests ease and perhaps 'claw' would better describe it.

Looking back, do you see any emotional patterns, or anything from when your R formed, that may have been a red flag at the time? I can see now that I chose not to acknowledge some important things - ie: XH dating a year out from separation but not yet divorced etc..

Keep posting and doing for yourself and try to let your H be. He will decide what he will decide in his own timeframe and the best you can do there is not worsen things. But for yourself - do all that you can to move forward and heal.

Xx