Help - Setting Boundaries, WW in EA - Thread #3

[Woke_Up]

So, after Saturday being pretty awful, Sunday was more settled.
I got up. made us both coffee as I usually do - I know what people have said on here, and I asked my DB coach about this issue, she said, well would you do it for a friendly house guest?
I took SS16 to his part time job, came home, got busy, .
while W took D5 to a friend. Later, I picked up S16 and then went shopping for food (she also asked me to fuel her car up while I was at the supermarket!)
When I came home, WW was in the garden. I joined her after a while, helped with getting rid of some rather thorny and overgrown weeds that were taking over.

I made dinner for a change, W was feeling pretty ill, but conversation was OK. She is still obsessing over her looks, complaining how the botox hasn't worked properly, booked herself in for some eyebrow tattoos! (When I pointed out we didn't have money for that - it's not cheap, and with starting the new contact there is a hiatus before my invoices start getting paid again - she said the money could come out of our savings and she would repay it. As it is half her money, I said she could do that.)

When we have talked, we have kept it about non stressful topics, and I have managed to make her laugh a few times.

Later, after we got D5 to bed, I told her I was going out. She wanted to know why and where I was going - so I said just for a walk or a drive, and have to time to myself as I hadn't managed to earlier. She asked me to be careful. I went out for a nice walk, just a few miles, about 45 minutes. It did me good, and aided my sleeping. Something quite calming about walking round the pitch black English countryside at night.

Came home, went to bed - W asked me to wake her up before I left in the morning, so I did, at about 5:45am. Bit later than usual.

On the train to London now, W has been texting me. Tells me she feels terrible, and is having panic attacks, or that maybe something is wrong with her chest.

I ask if anything particular has triggered the attacks, and that we can get her into hospital to be looked at if she thinks it is physical. She replied that I probably her ridiculous situation.

I suggested meditation/mindfulness to help her with her panic attacks and breathing, but she said she need to take her focus off her breathing. She said her chest had gone physically tight through the stress, and she knew what was causing it, but couldn't say on a text... apparently because I am not good with having things in writing (she meant that I have sent screen shots to OM previously to prove we were still together).

Then she messages me that she feels sick - I ask if it is a bug she has picked up or related to anxiety. She said it feels related to something else, but I tell her it is highly unlikely she is pregnant yet, if that is what she means. She agreed that it was probably not that.

So, many riddles this morning. When she does things like this, I wonder if she has done something stupid, like persuade OM to come to the UK, and is stressing about it. But I can't mind read, and these sorts of thoughts are how I persuade myself to snoop again, so I need to stop them.

I've been responding & engaging too much, I think I need to keep it a bit of a lighter touch.