MLC? Maybe you can tell me...

[Brubeck]

I don't know if he's rewriting history or if I'm just telling myself that to make it easier on myself. I don't see how we could have been so happy for years if he had these regrets all along. How do you fake it for 20 years without letting it show?

He wasn't faking it for 20 years; going to the point of having children and buying a house. He is rewriting your history together, plain and simple. Don't fall for it.

Maybe you've already acknowledged the following and don't need to hear this, but you've got to see your H as someone very different. The man you were married to is GONE. He might return to form one day, but for now he is buried deep underneath MLC.

It's been just over a year for me, and I feel like I've only recently started to take steps to truly accept my W is not the same person anymore. I have to remind myself often, because my W has retained some of her preferences, habits & behaviors - and thus appears to be the same person. Your H may still seem the same in many ways. That may throw you off and make you think he's really the same, only that he feels differently about you. Not so. He feels differently about many things, most of all himself.

I find detaching and GALing is easy in theory, difficult in practice. It takes so much effort for me to take my eyes off the trainwreck unfolding in my house. When I'm able to pull it off, it works. The stress is gone.

my lawyer sent him the final copy on 2/6 and I have not heard a word about it. Not from him, his lawyer, nothing. I don't get it.

You're going to be saying "I don't get it" a lot. Many times, they don't make any sense...

Like many MLCers, my W has a few new acquaintances that I call "MLC Friends". Last week my W was complaining to an old friend about how incredibly clingy MLC Friend #1 is. She gave a big speech declaring how she's going to make a concerted effort to distance herself from MLC Friend #1 because her overt neediness was suffocating. What happened next? She spent much of the entire weekend going places with MLC Friend #1. Their skull is filled with spaghetti where their brain use to be.

You are NOT crazy. You are just in a crazy situation that he thinks is perfectly normal, and that makes you think you're crazy.