WAS vs MLC..not sure it really makes a difference

[Sotto]

Hi Skm, Pink is really giving sound advice above and also I truly understand your sense of disbelief. I'm sure many of us have shared that. The thing to know is that this is all really about HIM. Yes, I'm sure your marriage wasn't perfect and there were ways in which we could all have been better spouses. But it may well have been good - and yet he has decided to leave at least for now. He may decide to return at some point or he may not - the outcome is unknown at this point.

You say you are struggling to detach and I think Pink is spot on with what she says. I can recall V once posting that it is less about detaching from your spouse (ie: still all about them) and more about re-attaching to your own life (ie: sidelining them and all about you.) This may feel counter intuitive, but that's what DBing is.

So, I agree that it would be good to see some early goals from you. In all this mayhem (and putting your H to one side just now) what are you going to do for yourself? How are you going to work towards starting the healing process? What things will you do to soothe yourself. How will you get out and about and interacting with others? What new things will you learn. How will you reclaim yourself and your life?

This isn't giving up on your marriage - it is letting go whilst remaining willing to stand for your marriage without putting your own life on hold. Truly, you won't have regrets if you take this path....

:)x