Wish I had a suggestion. I know its painful. Im facing a similar realizatiin that its over and i just need to focus on the next chapter of my life. Most importantly, practice forgiveness and dont harbor resentment (i'm saying this to you and me).
M:39 W:36 - D1:2 D2:6 11/19/16 BD1: ILYBNILWY, EA/PA Dec/Jan: MC, pursuing, not DBing 1/11/17 BD2: W wants 1 month break 2/1/17: Divorce Remedy. Start DBing 2/17/17 BD3: W - separation to start D process