So Confused and Conflicted (2)

[WshIKnw]

Time for a new thread. Previous thread: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2730676&page=1

I'll give you credit for admitting your changes are motivated to change your W's mind. I will still hammer you to make the changes for yourself. The changes are more likely to stick if you do them for yourself.

But they aren't just motivated to change her mind. They are motivated to benefit me whether she comes back or not and change her mind.

Have you considered volunteer work? Serving at a soup kitchen for example. I believe when we are busy helping others, it helps us put our focus elsewhere. Additionally, you will be able to form new friendship.

That's a good idea.

I am a believer myself. It was incredibly helpful in my growth. Again, do it for yourself. Not to see your W at church.

I am doing it for myself. I considered going before she had even told me she went there, not expecting that I would see her at all. The church is all the way across town from her now. Her possibly being there is just a bonus, and her seeing me making improvements is necessary for her to know that I am making improvements. MWD says it's important to be seen making changes.

Thank you for your responses. If you have anything to add about how your fear caused you problems, I'd love to hear it.