I know that this is very difficult for you, but try not to compare your situation w/the other posters. Each situation is different and we don't know all of the ins and outs of their situation because we only get tidbits along the way due to privacy concerns.
You've not had physical contact w/your h for about 3 months, but you did speak briefly w/him in January, so techinically, that was just a month ago. One month or three is not a long time in MLC land. He's not thinking about you right now because he's in his own little world. Whereas, you are thinking about him all of the time. You've not detached enough to realize that contacting him would be pursuing him and reminding him that you are out there. He is very well aware of where you are. Let me give you an example of what transpired in my situation, my xh left the second time in December 1999 and I didn't see him again until the first meeting to discuss the interrogatories and that was in 2002. Now, that's a long time. He only called me a couple of times during that time, acting nasty and making nutty demands. So, if your h is out there and not bothering you or acting nasty...you are one the lucky one. However, if you push or chase after him w/calls, emails, texts, he just might get nasty and tell you to leave him alone entirely and that he's filing.
No, this isn't what you want w/your life and you have two choices, either file for a divorce or live your life as if he might not return, i.e., leave the door ajar and continue on w/your life. Sometimes they reconnect if they see you aren't sitting there waiting on them to call or see you. If they know that you've go on w/your life, they may sense it's time to start touching base, but as long as you sit in one spot...he doesn't have any need to start paddling up stream.
Go back and re-read the detachment thread and Sandi2's rules over on Newcomers. You've got the tools in those threads and once you have a better understanding of how they work, you just might surprise yourself and begin doing more in the detachment area when you least expect.
The first rule we always remind posters of is keep the focus on you.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
