The Conway books are really old, but good. Did you try the library first? I wouldn't purchase them if you can locate them there. I haven't seen them in electronic format, however, did you do a "google search for Jim and Sally's books. You might find them there.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
