seeing ex-wife in 3 days. need advice

[james17]

I'm pretty down now. really confused about what one of our mutual friends said, and some stuff my STBCW said. i had thought that my wife and I were trying to reconcile, but my friend said she just could never trust me again after my EA, and since i became depressed she just wasn't attracted to me anymore. tough pill to swallow, but it's true and i see her point of view. during this time, i had really tried to support her emotionally and financially, but i should have just made myself a better person and GAL, detach. It's what i'm trying to do now.

I'm going to be seeing the STBXW in 7 days. she's flying here to cali on her way back from vacation with her BF. She's staying with mutual friends, doing taxes with me for a day, and then visiting her aunt.

we talked a few days ago on the phone. i tried really hard to do all my 180s and actually wrote them down and looked at them while i talked to her. at the time i was feeling better, and wanted to show her i was okay.

(abridged version)
her: things are going really great with my new BF
me: that's nice
her: do you think i cheated on you?
me: technically, we had signed the divorce papers, but there were some expectations. either way it was the right choice.
her: i just want to let you know i don't think you cheated on me.
me: thanks for telling me that.
her: i didn't want to call you too much because i didn't want to get in the way of your healing. I miss you and sometimes i feel lost without you. you are like a teacher and my best friend.
me: i'd like to be friends (my db coach said i should maintain friendship, but i don't know if this just makes me doormatted and friendzoned?)

nervous, don't know how to act when she comes. was just going to tell her, i disagree with the divorce, but respect her decision. be friendly and just GAL. i guess there really isn't anything else i can do. i thought a lot about sandi's advice to go cold turkey, but i think in my case, i haven't become close to the man i want to be. i just want to be friendly, not chummy when she calls, and just keep the line of comm open so she can see my improvements. and yes, i'm trying to remind myself to make these changes for myself only.