A WW? (7)

[lt0402]

Quick journaling. We have been doing projects around the house the past couple weeks to get it ready to sell. W tried painting our cabinets in the bathroom 3yrs ago but never finished them. They were not salvageable so I've been ripping them out and hanging new drywall the past couple weekends. W typically does the finesse work so her job is to mud, sand, and paint the walls. It's been two weeks and she hasn't gotten to it yet. D was home sick a couple days this week but still not sure why she hasn't gotten any of that done. Frustrating.

W is still hell bent on selling this place and renting. We have gotten away from the idea of renting a place, moving all our stuff in there, and selling this place empty. Meeting with the realtor fixed that. I still haven't given W feedback on the idea of renting yet though. Neighbors put their house up for sale today and when I told W she got annoyed that I hadn't gotten together my thoughts on renting yet. I told her I needed a couple more days to think about it. She got agitated and said she needs to know now where she will be living in a month. Really, though, at the earliest it'd be 3 months as we plan on listing mid march and it'll probably take 60 days at the earliest to close on any sale. Unsure why she feels so stressed by it.

I told W why don't we discuss it Sunday so I can think about it for a couple days. No answer. I ask her if she heard me and she huffs and says yes. I'm tired right now from a long week and my patience is wearing thin so I just exited the situation. To be honest though, this is crazy.

I've got Monday off for Presidents' Day. We meet with the realtor that morning to discuss details. Going to trench and put down the mulch this weekend. Need to call someone to fix our built in microwave, which has been broken for 2 years. We have another countertop one we have been using. W said she would handle scheduling to get it fixed 2 yrs ago (I contacted the company as it was under warranty, put in the claim, got the # for the contractor, etc) but she never did. Yesterday she brought up that the microwave needed to be fixed and that I had been the one who forgot and dropped the ball on getting it fixed two years ago. Frustrsting.

I kind of feel like I'm directionless right now. I'm wondering if I need to pull my focus back to myself somewhat. Maybe I've allowed it to slide too far towards my W and M again. W is wearing on me currently. I actually feel like an unpaid and unappreciated handyman at the moment. Similar to how W made me feel in 2013 when I was busting my a$$ doing yard and house stuff and all I caught from her was flack. That led to me loosening up on that rigor and drove more conflict in our M which probably spiraled to where we are now.

Venting a lot of frustration here, I know. I know the answer is to only do things bc I want to do them, not bc she expects me to. We have a month to go before we want to sell this house and I know it's going to take a focused grind to get done what is needed. I feel like I have no partner in this. She also apparently expects me to solve the issue of finding this rental.

I need to get some sleep, recharge, and approach this rationally tomorrow. There's no plan yet, so I'll need to put that together and dole out responsibilities knowing she refuses to work with me. Frustrating.