No 2 x 4s ! Your feelings are your feelings and totally understandable and justifiable. You do not have an easy situation. Because while you now have choice , stay married or end the marriage (something the LBS does not get) you also now have responsibility that comes with being given an option. In a way, Those of us whose spouses left have it easier. We have no choice but to move on. We do get the choice of whether to find happiness in what we are given.
There is a poster that often writes following your beliefs over your feelings. I think if your belief is to stay married, you too get the simpler option of finding happiness in what you are given, and that is your marriage back.
Now if your belief was that you do not stay married after infidelity, then you would find happiness moving forward (like you did when ex left).
I guess you have to come to tems with what your beliefs are. What is forgivable in your mind? Not easy.
I also wonder if the anger and love loss that you feel now is similar to the anger and love loss that our spouses experienced that allowed them to leave and betray us. I know rationally...not comparable, but in their minds?
For Gump...very interesting speculations. It makes sense. I too would like to hear more about this.
