I went to court yesterday for the D issue. Arriving early as my usual fashion I was not sur eif the MLCr would be there or not, secretly hoping she may have forgotten for whatever reason ... I still am trying to sort through those emotions, there is 90% of me that wants this to happen and be over with at this point some 3 1/2 years post BD, but then there is that 10% that thinks maybe just maybe my old W would wake up and magically come back to me, I know this is not possible but yet there is that old me who is still as perplexed/confused as to how we wound up 'here' ..... again I have accepted all this but no matter how long MLC has been a part of my life there is just making no sense of it all.
So as I entered the court room and checked in with the rest of the poor people in the grough I spotted the MLC lawyer right off, I had googled her back in Sept when I was served just to research and see what I was up against. After 2 hours of hearing custody battles (some VERY ugly) and then fighting a smile hearing a couple "We are in counseling and trying to reconcile" ... it was finally time for my case. The MLCr Lawyer suprised me by coming over, extending a hand and saying it was really nice to finally meet me, we went through our stuff quickly ... judge was very nice ... and after MLC-L asked if I had a minute to chat .... sure why not.
Now knowing who's payroll she is on I was kind but guarded ... however I was impressed with this woman, she has practiced for 30 years and actually seemed very kind. She asked a bit about me, my son, how he and I are handling this whole thing and if I was open to R (even asked if I sent flowers on V-day ... wth??) just so she could get a feel of the sitch given she only had MLCrs side of things. She was a genuine person and mentioned how lawyers 'leave alot of broken glass on the floor after the D is completed... often its the children that suffer the most' .... this actually stuck with me throughout the day. She did do her lawyer type stuff probing for what I was after in the D, and asking things she will soon enough have answers to regarding financials but all in all it was a pleasant meeting.
All things said there is still the negotiations to go through and I need to disclose my financials. I am going to get a consultation as its been awhile and I finally have everything from the MLCr ... though I suspect some behind the scenes dirty pool happening ... just nothing that I think will help her cause much. So we have another court date set for Aug 3, and that should be about it unless something happens between now and then which I do not anticipate. The L did mention that the fact the MLCr and I do not talk it was not a good thing, I can only guess this bothers MLCr as she has mentioned here and there over the last year but that is the result of her actions and a boundary I put forth and have not budged on ... not out of punishment just out of a need for peace in my life.
This may have been a collection of thoughts that make little sense .. I did not sleep much and have had people in and out of the office as I try typing this ... thats it for now I hope you all are well!
