The high road: rocky with a great view

[Sotto]

Hi Cil, good for you with the interview invite and hope all goes well. My tip from HR for the 'weakness' question is pick one or two that are generally true, but they will also like.

For me, I'm a bit of a perfectionist and I really want to do a good job but sometimes I get a little OTT. I interviewed someone recently who said his biggest weakness was oversleeping - which wasn't a great choice!!

As for your feelings of jealousy. I can relate to them - particularly with XH's family. We were all pretty close (so I thought) and used to go on holiday (15 or so of us.) I came to see them as my own extended family and I was pretty devastated to be cut out of their lives. I imagine the holidays still go on and perhaps OW now goes too - so it has been something to come to terms with and actually one of the most hurtful things for me.

What has helped? Living and letting live I guess has helped. I try and drop the comparisons, count my blessings and make my own plans. My feelings towards OW have neutralised somewhat too. I wouldn't want to have to see her, but she doesn't take up much of my headspace and I don't envy her current 'lot' in life. Also, if we set ourselves 'outside' of what we perceive to be 'fun' it isn't really a helpful thought pattern.

Actually, those going on holiday will be there with all kinds of baggage and having differing degrees of a nice time. Some may have the flu. Others may be getting on each other's nerves and someone else may be wishing they'd rather stayed at home!

Yes, your XH may have become a bit of a Disney Dad with a bit of a fun crowd. But let's face it, that crowd were not true friends to you - just as XH's family were not loyal to me. I think your D's rely on you for more important things and know you are there for them.

I hope you'll be kind to yourself and do some nourishing things whilst they are away. Maybe make arrangements to see a friend, or book an outing or even a trip for yourself. These non-true friends will all do what they will do and it needn't take the shine off your day at all....live and let be....

Also, it does take time and I imagine your feelings about this will change going forward too.

Take care Cil, and hope you have a lovely weekend xx