Am I in withdrawal ... will he ever wake up

[Lana_71]

Hello
Been a while since I last posted . I feel sometimes that visiting the forum a lot makes me anxious although I read some of the other stories. Most of them hurt and you wonder how can such nice caring people be treated in this way. I always believed that we are all human and no one is evil but then again I see people treat others so bad ...

Anyway I have been blessed by this short term contract till April. It keeps me so busy to even think about anything nor check my phone or msg . The pay is ok but it doesnot matter. What is important is me completely detaching... which I think I am doing.

So after my last email to him which I honestly did not expect a reply but I thought that I will do tell him of my summer plans so that later he doesnot play the Victim role which he loves doing to himself. And due to the fact that my plan is to be away till end of the summer so last week I send him an SMS saying I plan to visit him fir only a weekend and if he agrees we can spend some time together. Somehow in my mind I wanted to see where he is now and maybe completely let it go before summer. He was traveling and answered back that he was thinking the same after reading my email and thinking of coming to us too , needs to sort some visa issues. But will contact me in next day when he is back to plan both visit.
Well I didnot expect much , another way of running away . Took him a week to contact me and say he is on a plane somewhere and will be back in two weeks. So suggesting I come over first week of march . He also is managing the visa to visit us but might take some time that is according to him. I offered help but he said he has some one. My reply was good have safe trip and let me know when you have a weekend off after coming back.

Regardless of this I don't expect much will still go with my plans in April . If he contacts me in two weeks will go to see him for a weekend ... if not then it is fine..nothing I guess will change ...even if I go I don't expect much maybe just me feeling is it worth it or not. He keeps playing charades but it doesnot bother me no more. I don't tell anyone about our contact hence no one asks about details.

Valentine came with no msg to me and a short one on the group chat for his girls as he put it. My youngest thanked him the oldest ignored it me too..

I have been reading Raine - not yet done - but her signature says after all this he moved out .. I know there is no garauntees but what I am thinking is that what I might have in my mi d is yotopia our old life ..most probably he can ever go back so most probably I'll be shocked with him now . Will I like what I see? Would I want to live with that? I am having some doubts now ...do I need someone who doesnot know how to keep his word? Would I need someone who is not dependable? Would these behaviour irritate me and bring the worst in me which I am now so far away from them...

Have a good one DB ers