She moved out, filed, but I'm still working Pt. 5

[skyhigh]

SBJ, your wife has the behavior of someone in full EA or PA, she seems way to much in a hurry to date again, she just wants to be able to live openly was she has underground right now. That's my opinion, I can be wrong, but most of the time, those in hurry to divorce have already someone else. I hope my analysis is not too cruel for you.

May be slowing down the process of the divorce, will put some extra pressure on her, right now she is in "control", see how she might react when her well orchestrated plan won't unfold the way she thought it will be.

Her rush might also be related to her faith, she knows she is right now a sinner, so trying to get a divorce fast will ease her mind, once she is divorced she won't be one anymore.

Another thought, since your children are living with her and she is trying to convince everybody she has nobody right now, being delayed in her plan, might forced her to show her true face at one point, MLCers are not patient at all, they live in the moment. I don't think she is ready to face others in regard of her "behavior", she seems very self conscious of her reputation, she knows deeply that's wrong and it will bring some sigmate upon her.

Don't forget MLCers love themselves very much, so they are very sensitive to how they are perceived by others. That's why also they are sometimes nice to us, just to keep us under their influence so we won't say a word against them. They know somehow how to play with our feelings to reach their goals.

As soon I refused being influence by my husband, and I started to show my teeth (with dignity and no spew), he understood things where not going to be so easy, it forced him out of his la la land. I stood my ground and my boundaries, life became far less easy so de facto nice for him. Fantasy land didn't have the same taste anymore.

Hope you didn't mind too much my input as a woman, also I had a very good friend who became a WW and left her H, she played all of us so well, best liar in town, she had OM underground for a few months.

I am piecing with my husband right now, but the day I realized I had to stand up for myself that the day things started to change. God showed me the doors, but it was up to me to turn the knob knots, he is our guide but the actions should come from us.

She is still in full replay, it can last up to 2 years in average, so you really need to earn some time, helping her is going against you, her fantasy land should meet reality not being facilitated. Imagine if she is getting a divorce fast and she remarry fast, where will be you left? It is to your advantage to slow down the process. Unless you are unlucky, MLC doesn't last forever. It's a marathon, but there is a finish line at some point.

Sorry for those 2'X4', but you seem such a great man and father, being too consilient will make only her "dreams" becoming reality faster.