Just keep plugging along

[cbtdad]

I wanted to add something to what I wrote in response to Mach earlier.
Around May of last year I put a notebook in a drawer in the kitchen. I had told W that I was working on my verbally abusive and controlling ways. I asked her to write stuff in the book that she noticed and that I would check it periodically. I checked for 5 months. Nothing!! Eventually I stopped checking.
So in the past counseling session she says she wrote in the book and just another example if me not following through. Well I checked the book when I got home. She had dated in 12/10/16
Wrote the following: "Once again you talk a big game, but when it comes down to it, you can't follow through with the action...."
So after 7 months she finally writes something and blames me that I'm not doing anything. This is the part that gets so frustrating. She says things like, "borderline abusive", that "I am not physically able to change"
Yet neighbors and close friends have said the opposite and noticed the differences. It's like she refuses to let the positives in and only reflects on the negatives.
That's when I start feeling that it may be too late with her. That I did too much damage from the past. That maybe I can't fix this relationship, but that thankfully I am learning who the person I was and I am constantly working to be better for the next relationship