Mach, what do mean in the bolded part as part of the problem?
4 years C...
I went back and read your first few threads this morning, just to remember...
You said that you were, in no particular order....
Selfish Angry You put your needs in front of hers and your Sons Impatience Dishonesty
One of your concerns 4 years ago, was that she wouldn't believe that your changes were real, and that they wouldn't last...
Were they real ?
Or were they just an attempt to get what you wanted...
Did they last ??
Or just long enough to satisfy your wants to hear her say that she wasn't going to leave..and right back to same old, same old...
You have been pushing for this Marriage for over 4 years now...
The biggest things that I see wrong with where you are right now, is that you have given this ZERO room to grow and to develop into a natural relationship on it's own...
You have had zero faith that things will work as as they are supposed to...
And you have been trying to drive a square peg into a round hole...
Mostly, I see you putting the pressure on her because you want her to lead the reconciliation of this marriage, and when she doesn't live up to your expectations of what she should be doing, you get angry and lash out at her because it wasn't how you would like it done.
So yea....Busy Bee buzzing around...gotta make the honey...gotta make the honey....gotta make the honey...
Ah snap....I don't even like Honey...
At the time of the bomb, the marriage that you had was over and done. Anything that would happen down the road would HAVE to be an entirely new relationship.
And I see you trying to apply the old relationship thinking into what should be.... new relationship thinking..
She had changed, and you had supposedly changed...
Did either of you ???
How are you different today, than the Cbt that I read 4 years ago ???
That is the thought that I have, when I read you...
And you have had those same goals now....for 4 years..
Are any of them closer than they were then ???
As far as the 10 year thing...
Is that something that you heard her say ??
Or is that your assumption, that she is thinking that ???
