Gosh, well here I am posting and I have a DIY job I should be getting on with this morning - avoidant for sure.
All's well with me and I feel my sap rising as we get some early spring weather in the UK. I found the build up to Xmas and the festive season really enjoyable. But then January was tougher, but I feel I've reached a good place again now. I think partly I was adjusting to these new greater work commitments and partly mourning the loss of being in touch with NG outside work. I've also been busier and less able to do social things, but I am trying to plan ahead more and schedule things for when I do have some down time.
I'm due to see our mutual friend this weekend. She tried to build some bridges between XH and me and was left in the awful position of telling me XH told her our R was over, when he hadn't told me this. When I last asked her if she kept in touch a year or so ago, she just said - he's not the man I thought he was. But they may be in touch as they have sons a similar age, and she was fond of SS. I did text SS and ask if he wanted to join us. He hasn't responded and I haven't reminded him. He may not want to be in touch as much as we were, I don't know, but I'll gently keep in touch from time to time.
I have no news of XH at all. I imagine his R with OW may be continuing and I certainly wouldn't be that surprised if I heard they had married or had a child on the way. Actually, I don't feel I'd be that devastated either if I heard that news. Maybe difficult for a little while, but I feel I would move through it fairly soon. I don't think about it much, but I do remain conscious of the normal journey these things take. I know that their R is built on rocky foundations and neither were in a good place when they entered into it. Due to this it may implode in time. But I'm not sure where I would be at if I heard from XH. The door may well be pretty much closed from my end.
As for NG, I've drawn back and accepted we won't be in touch for now. I did see him for a meeting on Valentine's Day actually and we had a nice little chat, initiated by him. He explained that as his sim died, he has lost all his contacts and our IT guy has the sim to see if he can retrieve these. NG hasn't released his new number as he may still get his old one back and he'll let me know how he gets on. I sense he may still want us to be in touch, but I'm in respond rather than initiate mode right now - though I'm still friendly and would be responsive to an initiation...
Otherwise, life is fine and I am lucky to have good friends, a roof over my head, cash in the bank, interesting work, good health, etc, etc. It always helps me to remember this and it is so true that the main thing is to reach a good place within yourself in whatever circumstances you may find you are in. When you do that, it doesn't really matter how life unfolds because you will navigate that and there will be joy and also some pain along the way....
Blessings to you all my lovely online friends. Xxx
T 13 M 7 Me 48 H 46 SS 15 BD 7.14 PA D final 5.16 (H filed)
We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
