Moored

[HaWho]

Hi Lou! Nice to hear from you. I hear your concern about taking care of me and thank you for that piece of advice.

Roist - where is my head at nowadays? Great question. I think most of the time it's focused on me, my kids, our present lives and our futures. I don't allow myself too much time to think about my h. It's too depressing to do so. I feel sorry for him.

I do wonder if I am doing the right thing here. Maybe it would be healthier not to live with him. I know divorce is destructive. I can't say what is going on here is great, obviously. I am picking between two bad options. I thought about how I would justify my decision to my kids when they are older. My answer would be that it would break my heart to have them spend 50% of their time with a person who closes himself in a dorm room. This in turn means they get no break from the weirdness.

2 years 3 months post BD, I am finally sleeping through the nights. I was on high alert for so very long: is he going to empty the bank account and move to Fiji with a few women as he said he wanted to do? Is he going to to come home and tell me two of his girlfriends are pregnant with his children? Is he going to disappear one day and notify me via text?

Now, I spend most of my time thinking how do I protect myself financially, emotionally, spiritually?

KML - I think a year ago, yes, he really did believe I was trying to murder him. (Oh, I can't believe this is my life story. I am a normal person not a made for TV movie character.) But now? I think it's some PA control issue. Here's why...

Before I start dinner, I have been going to ask him if he's eating. The first night he was caught off guard and stuttered. He nervously asked what I was making. I answered and he said yes and he ate. The next night, I did the same. He asked what I was making and he said yes and he ate. Tonight I ordered in and he ate.

Brubeck - nice to hear from you. Yes, in general, my h is as embrassed by me as my s13 is. H has way more anger towards me though.

As for your w not acknowledging your birthday? Obviously, if people wished you a happy birthday in front of her, she went out of her way to hurt you. People who hurt others are hurt themselves.