Help - Setting Boundaries, WW in EA - Thread #3

[sandi2]

When will you learn that talking with her does not work?

W told me that she would end it, that she wasn't going to leave for someone she had never met, she just needed to pick a day and I would need to take her devices off her. I said how about now, but W said she wasn't ready yet.

And you did nothing? I mean, this ^^^^says it all.

I think I've said this once before, that it is her responsibility to end the A. She is playing games with you when she says she needs a day for you to take off her devices. By saying she wasn't ready yet.......she is saying she wants to f--k OM some more.

However, soon after she she started telling me that she thought I would go back to how I was, I would start being a [censored] again, that I never spoke to her, that I never had, etc. By the end I said it sounded like she had already talked herself out of it. She said she hadn't, so I just said ok, wished her goodnight, and left her room, went to bed and tried to sleep.

This can be filed under WW BS. I won't quote all the paragraphs, I'll just say that your W is manipulating you and playing you like a toy.

She also started saying that I had no right to invade her stuff, that she had found and read the leaflet on boundaries that I had printed out and that I should learn to respect them, that I was not to touch her things, she would put locks on the door, that I wasn't to hack her (not actually 'hacked' her for a long time). That I shouldn't have deleted things from her phone, stuff that she wanted to keep, that she would just have to ask for more. I said she was sick. I also sent another message to OM at this point, I was quite angry.

She has challenged you at every turn and she continues to see no action from her H. She is really putting it out there......seeing how much more $h't you'll take.

Why are you sending OM another message? You aren't M to him. Surely you don't expect a man who is having an affair with a married woman to do the honorable thing! Don't expect the AP to do the job you can't get your W to do.

Later, W asked me to pick up a valentines card for me from her when I was out shopping with D, and some flowers would be nice. She asked this in front of the kids. So basically I bought 3 cards... one for me from her, one for her from me, and 1 that D liked. I also bought the damn flowers,

Seriously? This tells a lot about the dynamics in your MR.

We also ended up ML. (I know, the disapproval is palpable)

Manipulation!