I'm so new to this Pink in comparison to you but I feel your tiredness with the whole sitch!

You sound like you have done a lot of soul searching to get you to this place. Have you had any talks with your XH about how you are feeling?

((Pink))

Me - 47
H - 45
D-16
M - 6 years
Separated - May 16

Don't leave me behind can't you see me I'm shining... (Years & Years - 'Shine')