Last night I biked 13 mi. w/my sister and friends w/bike club. They had a picnic after and then I went out for a beer w/my one new gf.
I got home (intentionally late), but H was not home yet. I dropped my stuff in the house and went back out to feed the dogs. H pulled in. He stood there and I walked right past him. He snickered. I fed the dogs, got ready for bed and went into our room.
I smiled really big and said, "Hey Stranger! Were you laughing at me??" Totally teasingly/jokingly. He said, well, not really you, but the situation. It's like you're giving me the cold shoulder-we do live in the same house, we could be hospitable." (He's smiling too) I said, "YOU told me not to talk to you!" smiling and laffing again. I put my arms out, he put his out, we hugged for a couple min. and kissed a couple times. I started to cry a little. He asked how I was. I said "good. you?" He said something like he is surviving or getting by. I said that this has been really good for me. He said it was really good for him too. (the break. good how, I don't know! Good as in, yep i want to leave you, or good as in, i can see more clearly now?) So, I told him that I didn't want him to leave for a few days w/o me saying goodbye, so I hugged him goodbye. I then went to sleep in my room. I didn't see him this morn. and I'm not going home this afternoon BECAUSE I don't want to see him leave. It's still really hard. I really hate this, but at least I feel better about it this week than I did last week.
I have a goal- It's to remember Karen. I was talking to some bicyclers last night about climbing. I'm going to make a post on the website looking for ppl to climb outdoors, maybe go camping in W. VA, etc. I must climb! It entails much more. I'll write more later.
I've got lots of plans this weekend. Fun stuff! I'm not going to be home when H gets home on Sunday.
