It seems to me that no matter what changes I've made that she can not get past the past. She thinks it is all a facade. She says that I am borderline abusive. I've done everything I know how to work on that and I am making a lot of progress, but it's still not good enough it seems.
Are you telling her that you are changing? If so, then stop. By telling it just drives them further. Do it for you and you only. She will either notice, or not, or not even care. However, you will be in a better place.
There are moments in this life when you are so confident in the rightness of your actions, that not even for a second do you consider the option that you might be wrong.
