If only I had known what I was doing. But I was a clueless husband.
Forgive me for not knowing, but did your wife suffer abuse? Can't be clueless if you were never let on to things.
Well, I was just clueless on how to treat a woman. I can't just treat her the way I'd want to be treated. She needs empathy, intimacy, and romance. I just made classic man mistakes, nothing major like cheating on her or getting in trouble for something bad. The only possible abuse was that she said one time when she was at her dad's, as a kid, she locked herself in a bathroom and called her mom to come get her, but she doesn't remember why. She wonders whether she made herself forget what happened because it was so bad. Her mom has also probably tried to implant some bad ideas about what happened. So, other than that, no known abuse. I certainly didn't abuse her, unless we're talking partial neglect -- doing too much of my own thing, just happy to have her "around", mindlessly thinking that because I'm happy, and because she appears happy to me, that things are fine.
M: 33, W: 30 @BD M 7, T 10 BD: Early Dec W left: Late Dec W got stuff: Late Jan W sent S papers: Mid Feb OM cnfrmd: Late Feb
Pain can yield tremendous growth OR everlasting sadness and bitterness.
