When my wife left, she agreed to go to a MC session. She said she enjoyed it and was glad she went, but then wouldn't go to anymore sessions. I probably screwed up too much by arguing with her (defending myself, mostly). Every time I argued with her after she went cold, every argument turned into this huge firestorm in her that did nothing but fuel her rage, push her away more, and make her want to go through with leaving me. I wish I had known sooner. When things were normal between, if she blew up, she would feel really sorry about it and come crying to me. Not the same dynamic at all now. The blowups are the most intense things I have ever seen, and only seem to result in bad things. The first time she had a major blow up, I hoped she was getting things out of her system -- that it was helping her mellow out. Nope. Hell hath no fury, like a woman scorned. If only I had known what I was doing. But I was a clueless husband.
In the session you had the right to defend yourself - but did you do it attackingly back to her? Mine did the same thing...later on when I did the IC (my IC was also our MC) sessions, she felt the ex blew up like that because of her guilt. Guilt over her affair, etc.
The IC felt that since I didn't follow her end it script and wanted to work on the marriage, the ex blew up, etc... not in the form of yours, except one time.
You'll find that a lot of their actions are like that, especially in this time when the want out but we don't...
There are moments in this life when you are so confident in the rightness of your actions, that not even for a second do you consider the option that you might be wrong.
