I wouldn't think so, but why wouldn't she tell me she was thinking about it, at the time? And why would she now lie and say that she wasn't thinking about it?
I'll give you what mine did, which pretty much follows the examples of others found here. Mine spent time talking to friends and family - I know this because of the hidden ally I have in her camp (things come out). Mine researched it. Looked it up...joined forums (the bitter divorce ones). When she dropped the bomb, she had her ducks in a row - or so she thought...she was going on what her family/friends told her. At any rate, the point is that she planned it out. They all do.
They do talk - just not in the way we expect them to. Mine never suggested marital problems or wanting/needing things to change.
It would be a safe bet that she has thought it out and gone over every possible scenario. That's why so many come out swingning...because they have their ducks in a row.
Decisions like divorce aren't taken lightly and most definitely aren't instantaneous.
There are moments in this life when you are so confident in the rightness of your actions, that not even for a second do you consider the option that you might be wrong.
Did she ever mention any problems? Not happy about something? Sometimes they don't come right out and say it until they felt like they've exhausted all avenues...
There are moments in this life when you are so confident in the rightness of your actions, that not even for a second do you consider the option that you might be wrong.
She complained a lot, but she would never say that she was unhappy with the relationship. She would just complain about things she didn't like. And then she was quickly turn around and put a smile on her face, and act like things were fine.
M: 33, W: 30 @BD M 7, T 10 BD: Early Dec W left: Late Dec W got stuff: Late Jan W sent S papers: Mid Feb OM cnfrmd: Late Feb
Pain can yield tremendous growth OR everlasting sadness and bitterness.
She complained a lot, but she would never say that she was unhappy with the relationship. She would just complain about things she didn't like. And then she was quickly turn around and put a smile on her face, and act like things were fine.
Just like mine did.
There are moments in this life when you are so confident in the rightness of your actions, that not even for a second do you consider the option that you might be wrong.
However, mine only mentioned things once and that was it.
There are moments in this life when you are so confident in the rightness of your actions, that not even for a second do you consider the option that you might be wrong.
And when she left, you finally understood that she was unhappy and what she wanted you to do, but the only "warning" was her closing the door, and she no longer wanted you to do anything but leave her alone?
M: 33, W: 30 @BD M 7, T 10 BD: Early Dec W left: Late Dec W got stuff: Late Jan W sent S papers: Mid Feb OM cnfrmd: Late Feb
Pain can yield tremendous growth OR everlasting sadness and bitterness.
And when she left, you finally understood that she was unhappy and what she wanted you to do, but the only "warning" was her closing the door, and she no longer wanted you to do anything but leave her alone?
Yep. Pretty much. See, she'd say something once and always said that if it was important to me then that's all it needed to be said. But, excuses are excuses. She never fought for the marriage - or any of her past relationships. All she did was run when things didn't fit her perception of a fairy tale.
Out of the 10 years, there was only one time she stood up - and was over the sister. However, the sister "controls" her and says things to her that I would never imagine someone who supposedly loves someone would - but then again, her sister is narcissistic to the millionth degree...terrible person if she even thinks you are disagreeing with her.
When she left, I finally knew and realized things. After some revelations dealing with her abuse. And the major realizations didn't come about until we were on our second MCer.
There are moments in this life when you are so confident in the rightness of your actions, that not even for a second do you consider the option that you might be wrong.
