W came to the house on Sunday to get more of her things. She asked if a stack of mail was her's and that was the extent of our talking for the 1.5 hours she was there. She took the dog outside to play with her for about 10 minutes, came back in, and left. I thought she was putting more stuff in her car but she had gone without saying a word.
I decided to change my strategy of no contact and waiting for her to come around. My W has always been a follower, not a leader. Just her nature. She's the type who probably was angry I didn't speak to her. Since I'm regretting not taking the lead on getting our relationship on the right track years ago instead of just waiting for her to change and building resentment when she didn't (as she was doing the same thing toward me), it occurred to me it doesn't make sense now to wait for her to act, either. I need to lead.
So yesterday I broke the rules and texted "Happy Valentines Day". I figured if she was still irrationally angry then I wouldn't get a response, like many of my texts in December and early January. I know if I was livid at her and I got that kind of message it would make me angry and I wouldn't respond. But she texted back "You too". I'm not reading too much into it but it seems a small positive.
My plan now is to text her tomorrow and say "Let's meet up tomorrow for dinner tomorrow". I'm not going to ask her, I'll phrase it as a statement just like that. I see it as a line in the sand situation to gauge where she's at in her head. If she agrees, I'll still apply all the advice I've read. Won't push R or discuss MR really. I'll apologize for my shortcomings in what made the MR vulnerable and go from there. If she doesn't agree, then at least I can say I tried and not have any regrets.
