I've lurked a couple of times on your thread, and now feel moved to ask a question. How did this “in-house-seperation” thingey come about? Whose idea was it? Why are you doing this at all? It seems to me that while giving each other ‘space’ is necessary in any relationship, living together under the same roof and pretending not to acknowledge each other’s existence can only do one thing – create resentments and nourish fears. Either you’re married or you’re not. This isn’t kindergarten, where you can “ignore” your best friend that you’ve had a fight with for a few weeks and suddenly everything is peachy again. Marriage is an adult game with adult rules, and means you’ll actively have to work at what you want. Playing invisible spouse isn’t going to cut it.
Living as you do right now with your husband would drive me mad. And I’m not even a crazymaker to begin with.
I hope I’m not being too hard on you Karen – I don’t mean to be. But I think you’re going 90 miles an hour in a car with the brakes loose en route to a concrete wall.
Sit the man down, tell him you’re through with this childishness, and that you are his wife, and plan to act like it. Give him one evening a week without resentment to be off alone with his friends, and do something fun yourself. Otherwise do things together, and under no circumstance flip out on him. Show him you’re trustworthy. Buy yourself a treadmill if you don’t have one already, and run ¾ hours each day until you’re ready to drop, to get rid of all that excess energy. Find that calm spot within yourself – whether through sports, meditation, art, whatever. He can never make you happy if you can’t make yourself happy.
