It created consequences to them, they had to face how others were seeing them, it forced them out of their fantasy land. That's exposure. I created a crack who forced them to take a look at themselves.
Ahh I get what you mean now.
I did do something like that - in December I wrote to all the close family and friends I knew. Response was patchy. Some wrote back supportive, one family friend (of MiL's) sent a particularly vitriolic letter accusing me of having no class and washing dirty linen in public and didn't I know that he wouldn't have cheated if I hadn't made him unhappy... I binned that letter immediately. It was hurtful but I've rationalised that it came from someone who has had affairs herself and left her own husband.
In all cases, they have all cut me off. For them it's time to choose sides and while some have said they sympathise with my situation, all of chosen WH's family. Not WH per se because he doesn't bother with them, but WH's mother. She is the family matriarch and is at the centre of all relationships. There's no way anyone would express loyalty to me over her. MiL has made it very clear that golden boy WH was driven to his actions.
Both MiL and FiL have had affairs. I have referenced FiL's affair to MiL, asking for her understanding in how I feel. She totally clammed up and refused to engage.
I think the difference is the society in UK. There is more reticence here about talking about personal stuff, but more importantly, generally this is quite a godless society. My WH and his lot are hardcore atheists. It's seen as regressive to have faith. In this society, what WH and OW are doing is uncomfortable, but largely acceptable to them. Even if people disagreed with what they're doing, it's a big no-no in the UK to bring up their behaviour to them. It's this mentality that makes me desperate to leave. I feel like I'm living in Gomorrah.
I have faith and it's getting me through this, but also it's alienating WH from me even more because he sees it as me going even more crazy than he's painted me out to be.
