Hi Ladies, Thanks for stopping by! It really means a lot to me.
We are not having ANY contact-not even hello and good-bye. So, I'm trying to stay away from home as much as possible. It's so hard to not talk to him b/c I just want to make up and be together again. I talked to him a few times and he was like (excuse the jr. high grammer) "um...this isn't space..." I said OK and left the room.
I'm trying to deal w/the camping thing. It's really hard. I'm reminding myself that I WILL go camping again sometime in my life (hopefully this summer-I like to go once or twice at least) and that he WILL miss me when he is gone and wish I were there. And possibly be refreshed. Sometimes space really helps him, I just have a hard time giving it to him.
Tonight I went to a scrappin' party-but they didn't actually scrap, just showed us stuff and took orders. I'm looking forward to working on my book again.
Tomorrow I'm watching a chick flick w/my friend that had a hysterectomy a couple weeks ago. Thurs. I bike with group. Friday-river w/sister if I don't go camping.
Joann had said to me that maybe I just wasn't in enough pain to change and if we needed to increase it. Well, being excluded from this trip is REALLY REALLY painful and may be what I need to give me a kick in the butt.
Pray that he is not done with me, please. He did admit in one of our convo's last week that he did not go about things in the best way. (meaning lying and/or int. p). Sorry, can't spell it out. But, I looked at some of the pictures he looked at, and I didn't feel threatened. Can you imagine?? ME not feel threatened? It showed me that he does have desire. Sometimes I had been afraid that he was asexual! I think when the women look like real women rather than in Playboy or the Vic's Secret's commercial where every woman is perfect. B/c then I think I just can't measure up. But, that's just airbrushing and technology, right??? Right???
