So Confused and Conflicted

[LITB]

The idea to save yourself before you can save your M/R is similar to the instructions you hear on a plane before the flight departs. You can't help anyone else if you run out of oxygen.

Your objective should be to get to your happy place (GAL activities) and make changes within yourself to improve your relationship skills and gain new ones. This will serve you well with all of your relationships(at work/family/friends).

Then you will be better prepared for a new relationship with your W, or a new relationship altogether. You have a tremendous opportunity, so use your time wisely. If we don't address our issues, they are portable. They will hang on until we take care of them. Same goes for any WAS. That's one of the reasons piecing is so difficult.

Here's something else to ponder. When you gauge/temp check your WAS, it generates expectations and keeps you on the emotional roller coaster. We hang onto every word and action looking for a glimmer of hope. Keep your expectations at -0-. That will be a significant help.