I certainly don't plan on coming back and start mowing the lawn and picking up dog poop in the backyard. My W's asking me to help her switch over the bills to her name and get things set up in the beginning, but she's not asking for on-going help. I think there is something healthy in that desire, for her to want to be empowered and independent, and I'm OK helping her transition.
Not sure what I'd do though if, say, the sink clogs in the bathroom that my kids use. Should I come over and fix it for them? Or tell my XW to call a plumber. I think many in here would say stop serving cake. I think DB coaches would say be warm & kind.
The night we told the kids about the D and my W saw how hard our younger one took it, my W messaged me expressing extreme sorrow and a sense of failure. I was sorely tempted to respond saying, "then why the #$@! are you doing this?" But I didn't respond. I still kind of wish I had.
I didn't think it'd really change the path that she's on. Like Jeep said, it's a journey she's on and ain't no one or nothing going to stop her except herself. Sad, but I see this whole thing was set in place long ago, even before she was born, starting w/ the kind of parents she had.
100383 -- I hope you're out there reading, and holding on and doing ok.
Me: 50, MLC/WW 45 Young kids Nov 2015: BD1 Apr 2016: BD2 Jan 2017: W filed Feb 2017: D final
