Appreciate you being in my corner, Gump. And yes, quite often I have felt I don't even rate high enough to be hired help.
My S told me he believes his father is leaving us for another family and will have nothing to do with them. I was completely devastated by that, because I know what he's saying is entirely possible and probably likely. I try very hard to be up front and honest with my kids, but I did every thing I could to dissuade him from that. I made sure he understood that he is also my child and I was never going anywhere. But at the end of the day - I'm not his dad.
I spent quite a bit of time debating whether or not to share that with H. I never know what his reaction will be - will he sit down and talk with S or will he blow up? With his mood swings it could be either. I decided to keep it to myself because I don't want to subject S to that. Still don't know the right answer.
Spent quite a long time talking to OW's fiancée this morning. Eye opening on so many levels. OW apparently saw me in a store and ran the other way. I'm honestly not sure what I would have said or done if I had seen her. I no longer care about her. What does that say about me?
And it's not bad enough that H is having an affair, he needs to trash me to this woman who obviously feels the need to share that with others. To top it off most of it is lies. Why is there a need for this? I'm fighting this overwhelming desire to call and rip him apart. I'm not a passive person, but I also know the situation requires different handling. I'm having a hard time juggling between respectfully handling everything and being a doormat.
And as I sit here writing this, I wonder if this is still the right forum for me to be in. Everyone here is actively trying to save their marriage and I think mine is past that point. I still hurt, but I think my path is different now.
M:41 H:43 T:26yrs M:19 yrs S:15 D1:14 D2:9 Living together but separated
