So Confused and Conflicted

[WshIKnw]

I think you misunderstood. You make the changes within yourself for YOU and you only. Never make them on the hopes of winning someone back.

Think about this - let's say someone in our situation works very hard and makes all the changes that they think will bring the person back - only that it doesn't. So, all they are left with is the bitterness/anger towards the ex and within because they feel all of it was for naught. And that is no reason to do it.

I can see that, but if you made the changes for both of you, then you can still be happy you did it, right? Not trying to argue with the philosophy. Just trying to understand.