Sotto thank you for your post I work out three times a week at the gym and am slowly loosing weight I have started to eat more healthy so this is a change for the better Sandi thank you for your words of encouragement I have been reading your threads that you sent me there is a lot to read the problem I have is I cannot see anything but bitterness and anger from her along with the resentment she is full on last night we talked talking does not get us anywhere but I do try and explain why I did things and how sorry I was for not recognising how my actions wraps causing her to feel upset She is resentfull feels anger towards me her heart is vey deep comes from a hurt heart
Yesterday she said but you still make me feel unhappy you are the only person who does this. I am reading as much as I can trying to understand what to do. She wants to be in different houses has seen a place she likes has started boxing up the house I am not going to be able to stop her from wanting to live apart perhaps this has to heppen as part of the process I do not know which of our children will live with me and which will Ilive with my W either way I do not want to be apart from any of my children but it is going to happen.
Getting back to boxing up things I really cannot bring myself to start every time I try and start I feel so so unhappy this is not something that I want I just feel I do not get to decide
I have been going out with my male friends I do not feel good about myself I look in the mirror and see a middle aged overweight balding guy who I believe in some way deserves for this to be happening I do blame myself my W did try telling me over the years how unhappy she was I just did not hear it or react to her upset I guess I chose the easy life but now she has so so much resentment I still focus a lot on her I need to focus on me and what I need but this comes back to wanting to save the marriage
