I have some of the same communication problems that you have. I am a newbie, but here are some of the improvements that I have made for myself which have helped my R with my W:
1. Stop text messaging unless it is purely about logistics or about kids or to communicate need to know concrete details. That means no open ended questions like how is your day or how are you feeling. Try to go a whole day without any text messages and then another...
2. When you are listening, make eye contact and just listen without interruption or distraction. If there is a natural pause in the conversation, you can validate what you heard...or you can ask questions to show that not only are you listening, but that you are interested to know more about what she thinks and feels...someone here said remember TED and that has been helpful to me: (a) tell me more about... (b) explain to me what you mean by... and (c) describe what XXX is...
3. Instead of giving answers, even when asked for answers, do a 180 and change from the guy with ALL the answers to the guy with NO answers...this takes humility...learn how to say...I don't know...I'm not sure...I need more time to think about that...can I get back to you on that tomorrow...that is way outside of my expertise...
Above all, be genuine, if you come across as fake it will backfire...
Gordie 40s W 40s M20+ kids 2016 BD W fantasy affair w OM1 I do everything wrong 2017 I start to DB W says TLTL files for D PA w OM2 2018 I do LRT W drops filing and OM2 situation slowly improving
