I don't believe it's hopeless, because I believe my wife has a ton of love for me, and because we get along very well together. I'm just wondering whether people aren't responding anymore because they think it's hopeless.
M: 33, W: 30 @BD M 7, T 10 BD: Early Dec W left: Late Dec W got stuff: Late Jan W sent S papers: Mid Feb OM cnfrmd: Late Feb
Pain can yield tremendous growth OR everlasting sadness and bitterness.
I don't believe it's hopeless, because I believe my wife has a ton of love for me, and because we get along very well together. I'm just wondering whether people aren't responding anymore because they think it's hopeless.
I dont think so.
Here is a tip
How to get more people to POST on my thread?
To get more replies my suggestion is to ask questions. Put you post down in a readable fashion. (not one big block of type- ie hit carriage return frequently). KISS = Keep it simple stupid Post on other peoples threads and give them support. You may not think you are qualified but you will be surprised that you may know something or have some knowledge of something that others know nothing about. Personally thank each poster that does post on your thread or ask them a follow up question.
I don't believe it's hopeless, because I believe my wife has a ton of love for me, and because we get along very well together. I'm just wondering whether people aren't responding anymore because they think it's hopeless.
I don't think its that, Wsh. Just keep posting. There is only one person who has that answer, and she is on her road. Just make sure you keep your hand open and don't squeeze the butterfly.
There are moments in this life when you are so confident in the rightness of your actions, that not even for a second do you consider the option that you might be wrong.
Thanks for the responses, guys (I think you are both guys?).
Originally Posted By: Jeep74
There is only one person who has that answer, and she is on her road. Just make sure you keep your hand open and don't squeeze the butterfly.
Yeah, that's what I'm trying to do. Just standing back, holding my hand open, waiting for the butterfly to land. I will not try to grasp at it or trap it. I may even at times lower my hand, in hopes that she will worry whether it will extend out to her again.
I'm amazed by the level of intelligence and quality of advice on this forum. I have been reading around here a lot. People are going through such similar things that I am, that it doesn't really matter whether I get responses here, because a lot of what is said in one thread would apply to me, too.
M: 33, W: 30 @BD M 7, T 10 BD: Early Dec W left: Late Dec W got stuff: Late Jan W sent S papers: Mid Feb OM cnfrmd: Late Feb
Pain can yield tremendous growth OR everlasting sadness and bitterness.
Yeah, that's what I'm trying to do. Just standing back, holding my hand open, waiting for the butterfly to land. I will not try to grasp at it or trap it. I may even at times lower my hand, in hopes that she will worry whether it will extend out to her again.
It's not an easy thing to do. But, in a sense, you just need to let the butterfly go. It will fly away and if it chooses to come back on its own, it will...if not, then there is your answer. The butterfly analogy is one of the best I've heard in a long, long time.
The thing is, you can't do things in hopes that she will wonder or make her way back to your road. She is on her own road that only has room for her. What you can do, is work on yourself and be the best Wsh you can be. For you. No one else. If she chooses to walk your road again, then great. If not, well, then you by then you will be standing on your own feet without wobbly knees. But this time is for you. Period.
There are moments in this life when you are so confident in the rightness of your actions, that not even for a second do you consider the option that you might be wrong.
The thing is, you can't do things in hopes that she will wonder or make her way back to your road. She is on her own road that only has room for her. What you can do, is work on yourself and be the best Wsh you can be. For you. No one else.
Yeah, I was talking about not being too available to her, though, like not answering the phone every time she calls. And not playing a pursue/distance game, if she tries to do that.
I appreciate your advice. It's very profound and insightful.
M: 33, W: 30 @BD M 7, T 10 BD: Early Dec W left: Late Dec W got stuff: Late Jan W sent S papers: Mid Feb OM cnfrmd: Late Feb
Pain can yield tremendous growth OR everlasting sadness and bitterness.
I was talking about not being too available to her, though, like not answering the phone every time she calls. And not playing a pursue/distance game, if she tries to do that.
There is a fine line with that. Doing it too much can also have negative effects. Just be you. And own your road.
There are moments in this life when you are so confident in the rightness of your actions, that not even for a second do you consider the option that you might be wrong.
I was talking about not being too available to her, though, like not answering the phone every time she calls. And not playing a pursue/distance game, if she tries to do that.
There is a fine line with that. Doing it too much can also have negative effects. Just be you. And own your road.
Yeah. Thanks for the reminder. Lately, it seems to be working, keeping my distance. Being distant was one of her main complaints, but I have chased the hell out of her since she first said she wasn't sure she wanted to be with me. I basically did all of the typical things that the DB literature says people do. So, she can't feel like I'm acting "more of the same". But you are so right that I have to be careful. I'm just monitoring my results. I guess the most important rule of all to follow is to do whatever gets results, and not what doesn't.
M: 33, W: 30 @BD M 7, T 10 BD: Early Dec W left: Late Dec W got stuff: Late Jan W sent S papers: Mid Feb OM cnfrmd: Late Feb
Pain can yield tremendous growth OR everlasting sadness and bitterness.
