Feeling numb this morning. Head feels stuffed with cotton, despite 2 cups of strong coffee. The desire for all of this just to end persists. I have had enough.
One step at a time, of course. Trying now to focus on getting my new home set up.
Despite wanting to just die, despite tears just wanting to pour out of my face, I just held them and kept telling them it's going to be OK.
Gordie, I stuck more or less to my script. I did not place any blame on my wife. We first talked to our older one separately, and I teared up too much. Then we brought in our younger one, and I did better. The older one did not have many questions and show a lot of emotions. The younger one cried on and off, and had a lot of questions about why and how and what's going to happen. He somehow got the impression that he would be losing time/access with me and I think that made him the saddest. He also was hit by the reality of having his parents break up -- he saw us as a unit. Both of which are all good perceptions, of course. No matter what I do, he will see me less, and he is right that we're breaking up. I don't know if I could/should have handled the talk very differently. Maybe I should have laid out a firmer plan for us spending time with each other. But to be honest I don't know how much I can do that, especially if my wife has a new man in her life. I did try to end on a positive note by talking about the new home and setting it up together. I think it helped a little. But my kids' world, as they know it, is over and that is hugely unsettling for them.
My W basically asked me to do the talking. Chickenshit. But I did it because I wanted to take charge.
Earlier in the weekend, my W, D and I were talking about dating (my D is starting to date boys), and my W said all the men she dated before me were a$$holes and I'm the only decent man she's ever had a relationship with.
Me: 50, MLC/WW 45 Young kids Nov 2015: BD1 Apr 2016: BD2 Jan 2017: W filed Feb 2017: D final
