I began posting here in Jaunaury of 2000. At the time, I thought my xh's replay began in 1999...not so, I sat down a few years ago and charted his behavior out and his MLC behavior actually began in late 1997/early 1998 and became full blown MLC when his step father passed away in March of 1998 and his father's passing followed on in November 1998. His step into MLC began when he was rear-ended and saw the vehicle coming w/no place to go and he told me that his life flashed before his eyes. He also couldn't face getting "old". He needed new glasses which at that time had to become bi-focals. He wouldn't order them, but rather held the paper way, way out in order to read it.
Where is he now? Working on wife #3 and still out there acting like a teenager, i.e., still blaming the world for his woes and still hates me like a bad rash.
I took the stages that Jim Conway wrote about and watched them like a hawk. Guess what? A huge waste of time because the timelines didn't match up because the timelines for each MLCer are as unique as the person and their childhood. It will take as long as it takes for them to work through their issues...some come out the other side much more mature and happier, others come out, but keep some of the behaviors they had while in crisis and then there are those who remain stuck and become those 60/70/80 year olds acting like they are 20 somethings all over again.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
