Hi all, Update: Thursday we went out for our 3 year anniversary. dinner was nice. I gave him a card with some little coupons-the main one being to a concert that I take him to every year for our anniv. Earlier in the week he said that he couldn't think of what to get me. He was going to buy me wheels & tires for my truk from a guy that he works with, but the guy sold the whole truck. The next day he told me he was looking for ideas, but that i didn't give him any. I said, "you didn't ask. You just told me you were having a hard time." (And,i thought i did give him a few ideas. I've been giving him the same ideas for a lot of holidays, but...???) So, at din. he told me he would take me somewhere since that is what i like the most (as opposed to be given some thing) and asked if there was anywhere i wanted to go.
We came home and we were both tired. i was gonna give him a big surprise which would have involved some time and energy, but asked if he would rather have a quickie and then go to sleep? he said, how about some where in b/t? OK! so, i slipped on a sexy nightie, and we had great LM!
Last night he was supposed to go to the baseball game w/me, but it rained all day and he called and said he didn't want to go b/c he didn't want to be sick for his trip to Indy since he had "waited so long for it." I was upset, but I didn't say anything...just got really quiet and said OK a lot. so, i went up myself (it was with a group of co-workers), and had a good time. It turned out to be a great night-63 degrees and it cleared up and didn't rain a drop. We went out for a little while after, but I wanted to come home late late. I got home close to 1:00, and I checked to see if his car was home before coming home. cuz, if he was out, i was gonna find something to do! mystery, right? so, i drove around a little, parked at mcd's and read some, then went home. he was asleep. this morn. we woke up, smiled at each other a few times, & I curled up to spoon him, he did for a while, then he switched positions and wasn't touching me anymore. he got up and got ready for work, came to say goodbye. he never asked about my night & i didn't ask him.
Today & tonight we won't be together at all and tomorrow he plays race cars. so...i need to act as if this is totally fine, right???
I'm really trying to rely on God and believe that things happen for a reason and that this is the way it is supposed to be right now. I know bitching about stuff will definitely NOT help. I'm still remembering the message that I got one night while praying that H won't give me what I want until I don't need it. Is God testing me???
Slowly, Water & Nevanna, thanks so much for stopping by. Nevanna, I am absorbing the stuff that you said and Water's encouragement. Slowly, I do think the KLA tapes are helping and the homework. I feel like people don't respond to me over there, though. Seems like others get responses, yet mine remain untouched. Sometimes I just feel invisible on this BB and wonder what the heck is wrong with me. I hope to talk to you all soon. thanks, karen
