This used to be way easier - and a lot more fun!

[DonH]

I didn't see your latest post Summer until I had posted at the same time. I totally appreciate your fresh set of eyes. I'll look back to see what I may have forgotten about these encounters, I honestly just don't remember them - or certainly acting on them. It's not me accepting or not accepting what you are saying, it's much more about understanding.

I totally agree that I can't easily gauge interest. That is not knew and cuts both ways. I've had times all through life where someone was interested and I had NO CLUE. I've also had the opposite where I think they are interested and I'm wrong. Thing is, how in the hell do I fix that? Can I? You are saying they were not interested. Okay, let's just agree. What would it look like if they really were? How would I tell the difference?

I cleared up some of the 20 year differences but again, I'm Not trying to say I live the same. My step kids who are still in my life are grown with kids of their own so life is way different. I don't go out like I used to. Many things are different. I'm just much the same inside - just as out going or introverted, look the same, feel the same, treat people the same, etc. that's what I as trying to say

Perhaps Im Looking for answers that simply don't exist. I guess I'm hoping that there are things I can do or not do to make me as successful as those around me. Man my head hurts from thinking so much. I've been very sucsful at so many things. It really hurts to have this piece of my life suck. I can't get these years back. If time stood still I wouldn't care. I just can't share these years of my life with someone again. I'll never be able to share my 50th birthday with my GF like I did my 40th with my wife. I won't be able to share my step sons or step daughters wedding with a GF. I won't be able to share the cruises and vacations I've ebe by myself. And the list goes on - and that just [censored].