This used to be way easier - and a lot more fun!

[DonH]

Well to be honest, it's not like Im gone every weekend, in fact not even close. I travel 10 maybe a dozen times a year. Plus, things have not gotten that far that it's even been a factor - although they could be thinking it after learning what I do.

It does bring up other twists and turns that may make all of this even harder and brings validity to your main point of patience. On the plus side I have the ability to pretty much set my own schedule if I find the right person. So that's a positive as I can cut back or change things should I need to. That said, I don't think I ever want to get married again. I just see no reason in it. I've heard the same from some women. I also don't feel a need to be with someone all the time. Some have said this makes it even harder. Others say there are a lot of women my age wanting the same. In fact they are turned off by guys who get clingy and want more of their time or want to get M. For example that lady I mentioned going on five years with BF. She seems to have little interest in marriage and the time they spend together seems to work for them - which fits with what she told me five years ago as well. I need someone in the same mindset. This is in part why I often avoid those never married - figuring that's a goal they will have. Those with young kids are the same. But these are all issues down the road - a road I'm rarely getting more than a mile down anyhow.

After saying things are the same 20 years later, I guess that's true, just not entirely in that I'm not involved in as much or meeting as many people as I used to. I also have less friends. Hell, just going through a D does that. So while I'm much the same guy, my life has changed - obviously.

I'm just trying to be as honest about all of this as possible. I didn't think this is where I'd be at 50. Everything else is as planned. I'm semi-retired and can adjust my schedule to fit. I really would love to find somene to travel with and have both the money and time to do it. If she travels for work, I coukd go with her. If she wants to see me more, I can do that (within reason) if she is busy and wants less I can do that. I'm fine with only dating one person and would prefer it. Im fine living together if that's the course things take. So I'm flexible in much of this. After seeing how hard it's been, I won't take it for granted.

And then as if this is not complicated enough, I clearly don't feel a connection with some of them. Perhaps they sense that in me in addition to perhaps not feeling it themselves. I'm just trying to give them a chance, thinking you just never know. I'm not turned off to them mind you, just not head over heals. So even with some of them, while its upsetting, it's not like I thought we were a match anyhow - just that it could grow.

F-me. This is honestly helping me to process all of this. It may not be pretty - down right ugly, but knowing and understanding is part of the battle. A
Though I've often felt I know what I want, just not his to get it. With the help of posters here I'm seeing that I'm not bringing enough to the table as to wars in it for them, not just for me. I'm really not THAT interested in likely half as it's more a "yeah, I'd go out with her" versus a "I really want to go out with her."

Feels like I'm looking for a needle in a haystack.

Sorry if I'm all over the place here. I really do appreciate everyone taking the time to comment. Just trying to provide the most honest info I can.