Hi Slowly,
Thanks for stopping by! I ended up going to the bar w/co-workers for a little while and then went home. Called H, got home, we decided to order chickens and then would go out later to see a band at a local bar. He is still acting pretty distant. I tried to make convo. at the bar, eventually he talked some more too. Our waitress kept telling us to smile and took it upon herself to try to "entertain" us. She'd walk by and stick out her tongue and make faces, etc. Pretty lame. Went home, I touched h a few times in bed, like his hair, or belly, but he did not reciprocate so I left him alone. This morn. he was not snuggly at all either. He left for work and I asked if he would rather go out w/his friends tonight (nicely). He said "nope." Ok, so he's feeling distant but still wants to be with me. This is a good sign, no?

My goal is to get along this weekend. Tonight we are going out-out and I will look hot-hot. Yet, I must continue not to pressure and not to have expectations. ie. not care if we don't have sex. OK, so I'll care, but I must not act out on it. Tomorrow I may hang out with a couple girlfriends, so I may not spend much time with him. He said he is not playing cars. The weather has been really stormy (I saw a funnel cloud pass over work yesterday!), so don't know if biking is an option.

I'm not very motivated to do housework this morn. like I usually do on Sat. I've been shopping online for my anniversary outfit. I'm hoping if we can get along for the next 3 weeks, that he will be receptive to it! I've told him in the past that I'm "wild" and he's been waiting for more wild stuff, but with things being the way they are, I haven't felt comfy getting crazy or anything b/c I'm lucky if I can get any at all!

I hate this. I don't know why I do this. I can't stand this feeling of distance and not getting any PT or WOA. I have so many doubts, but I am trying to reassure myself that he is still here and that he DOES want the same things that I do.

karen