I understand struggling with certain things is life......health, age, relationships, etc.
I've read your story for a while. At times you tend to play a victim of circumstance role and I actually find myself a little frustrated when reading.
I too have had what I call "spiritual deserts" in my life. A period where nothing happens.....but it's usually leading to something profound or worth learning.
I think you need to change your perspective through something new.....I don't know maybe some Eastern philosophy, meditation, a book by Hollis, hiking, helping other people......something to get you away from the wasting away thoughts.
We are here to see people move forward, to improve their internal as well as their external life. It only takes a slight movement in how you look at things to turn life from something that your just getting by to a life's journey that is full of contentment.
Life is short, this is your chance to propel your life forward.
