Long time lurker

[Sotto]

I agree with LITB, you appear to be locked in an unhealthy embrace with your H who now has a GF...but the two of you are still arguing like a couple....but he's a couple with someone else now - ugh..

And none of this is really helping your own sanity and sense of peace is it?

There is no need for you to stay right where you are. You have been here for 3 years and are lumbering along with the same situation and dynamic. I have no problem with someone choosing to stand for their marriage. I respect that and it's entirely up to you.

But allowing your own life to be derailed with unhappy interactions and allowing an unhealthy dynamic to continue is problematic.

Here's the rub - your H may be very happy to contine ringing you every day whilst he has a GF. But is that okay with you? He may continue to do this for a month, a year or 10 years - who knows??

Personally, I would draw right back on the contact - not in a spiteful way - but just in a 'hey this isn't really working for me - if you want a GF have at it - but this isn't how I really want my life to be.'

Start making arrangements to get your own lawn mown and sink fixed. Just suit him out of the picture. He gets to have his cake and eat it, whilst you are seeking a padded room.

Don't look for him to change, make your own changes. You've been fired, which is a bit rotten - but you are also mistress of your own destiny now. Don't hang on his coat tails, embrace the freedom.

Now then, why not try a period of dim contact for the rest of Feb? And why not also post some freedom/independence goals for yourself. Independent of your H, what would you like to achieve this year?

You can do this!!