I'm sorry but your wife just sounds like she's in poor mental health. I'm not saying that to be dismissive of your marital problems. I'm sure you two have serious marital issues, like all marriages do. But your wife appears unable to conduct any kind of reasonable and constructive dialog with you. Her mind is stuck on anger and contempt, and is just unreasonable. DonH suggests eminently reasonable ways to try to work through disagreements but that assumes your wife will converse with you in a reasonable way. I don't see it happening. Do you?
It seems to me that the first priority must be for your wife to regain some mental health. That is, for her to know what she wants, and take reasonable steps towards her desired goals. Right now I see someone who cannot articulate what she wants, and even if she does, she is unable to take steps towards achieving them.
Is there a way to get her into counseling? Maybe you can suggest that you find a counselor who will simply help you talk to each other -- not about saving the marriage, just communicate and understand each other. I seem to recall there is a type of counselor who specializes in having couples simply evaluate whether they should stay together or divorce. Maybe something like that, she might palatable? You wouldn't be dragging here there to necessarily save your marriage. You'd be going just to understand where you are.
I guess if I were in your shoes, I wouldn't give up on your marriage until/unless you've done all you can to get your wife professional help. If she is resolute in refusing professional help... then I think you have to think about letting her go.
Me: 50, MLC/WW 45 Young kids Nov 2015: BD1 Apr 2016: BD2 Jan 2017: W filed Feb 2017: D final
