I'm wondering if you took a snapshot of who you were 3 years ago and compared it to who you are today, what would be different?
Your sitch in its current state is unhealthy for everyone involved. You may not realize this, but you have the ability to create a shift in its direction. You currently play the role of the enabler, which will keep your sitch on the same trajectory. I think it is safe to say that fear is holding you back. The fear of him not doing things for you, like covering your health insurance, fixing things, mowing your yards, etc. Correct me if I am wrong.
Moreover, he manipulates you to keep you where he wants. His actions do not align with his words. Like he said that he'd die for you. My BS meter went off, because someone who says something like that to the person they are married to, doesn't have a GF. Be very aware of his manipulative ways.
How will things change? When you have had enough and begin to set boundaries. Since he has a GF, you have no obligation to interact with him or spend time with him. The interactions should be very limited. The cake eating suits him well.
Here's a boundary that I would suggest that you consider, "Mr. Hazy, as long as you have a GF, I do not think it is fair to me or your GF for me to be spending time with you." Then follow through on it. Of course he will not be happy. What kid is happy when their cake is taken away? The reality is, it will have to get more difficult, before it gets better.
Hang in there and trust the process.
Me:45 ExW:48 M:04/97 3 Bombs & 2 ReCons 1st BD 11/10 D Finalized 4/20 D-16 S-14 Going in one more round when you don't think you can. That's what makes all the difference in life.~Rocky Balboa
